Ain't I a Woman? The Unbearable Whiteness of Allies

[oberliner]

Before I even start this, I know that I have to give the usual disclaimers because even though it should be implied at this point, someone will undoubtedly need that extra spoonful of validation and reassurance, so here we go:

Yes, I know not all white women. I know not all white people.

Yet, Thursday night, Bette Midler proved to be the perfect example of all the things white women do when they call themselves “allies.” She went peak white woman.

...

Basically, Bette is not unlike all the other white women who claim to see us as equals but in action don’t treat us as such. They easily dismiss us when we raise concerns and put their own egos and needs in front of ours even as they claim they are helping us.

In short, they center themselves.

It is annoying, infuriating and insulting.

It is the unbearable whiteness of our “allies.”

https://www.theroot.com/aint-i-a-woman-the-unbearable-whiteness-of-allies-1829565093

This article is by Monique Judge.

[Croney]

1. Her apology:

(I can't link)

"The too brief investigation of allegations against Kavanaugh infuriated me. Angrily I tweeted w/o thinking my choice of words would be enraging to black women who doubly suffer, both by being women and by being black. I am an ally and stand with you; always have. And I apologize."

The Divine Miss M's apology was inadequate for many and I understand why. She meant well, has a good heart, has done much defending of groups that appreciated her help, and she hates Drumpf (my favorite attribute of hers). But in this matter she fucked up. Rather than try to align herself with the oppressed verbally, let her be Amy Schumer.

I know how hard it is to find the right words, though. On this board I have learned to read and observe when it comes to discussion of race issues, and luckily for me, there are people here who know the issues from the inside and take the time to share their views and knowledge. They know who they are. Thank you.

[oberliner]

2. "You don't get to label yourself an ally, sis."

From the article:

And here is another thing I want y’all to stop doing.

“I am an ally and stand with you.”

You don’t get to label yourself an ally, sis. We will let you know when we feel like you are truly our ally.

I agree that it is informative to learn from people on this board or other writers like this one.

[SunSeeker]

3. Bette Midler violated the rule that white people should never use the n-word, regardless of context.

Bette Midler was quoting a woman of color, Yoko Ono, who said, "Woman is the [n-word] of the world." I guess this comes down to the basic rule that white people should never use the n-word, even if they are quoting a person of color, and even if the quote is not meant to be racist. The n-word, coming out of the mouth of a white person, has different meaning and effect. There have been many articles explaining why white people, even if with the best of intentions, should never use the n-word. Here's one from the Root: https://www.theroot.com/why-its-ok-for-black-people-but-not-white-people-to-u-1826255011

[GeorgeGist]

4. How to choose your battles.